Top Tips a la Viz!

grellboy

Über Member
Cyclists!
1) Fed up with being stuck with that one hex bolt that just won't come out of the cleats of your road shoe? Simply remove the other two, get a hammer, bash the cleat on the side in an anti clockwise direction and voila! The bolt will magically start to turn and you can use the cleat itself as a handle, simply rotating it and using this motion to spin the bolt out.

2) Deter car drivers from using your favourite road. Simply get in your car at night, turn on the headlights and drive along your chosen route. Then every time another car comes towards you brake and flash your lights. This way they will think there are speed bumps ahead of them think the better of it, turn around and head back where they came, leaving your favourite road car free.
 

Salty seadog

Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
It's all I ever use.....

500152
 
Last edited:

Twilkes

Veteran
Incidental to cycling, but this is the advert that led to me writing 'winnit' on a triple word score during a game of Scrabble, resulting in a ten minute argument about whether it was a real word or not.

In a real world top tip, I've discovered after about twenty years of putting bikes in sheds, that if I put them all in rear wheel first, it is a lot easier to get them back out again because the handlebars have far less to get stuck on as they are all right next to the doorway. Who knew?
 

Drago

Flouncing Nobber
Location
Valhalla
I seem to recall we've been there with Viz style Top Tips, and it ended with lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth when someone feigned affrontery and some imaginary slight.
 
OP
grellboy

grellboy

Über Member
Incidental to cycling, but this is the advert that led to me writing 'winnit' on a triple word score during a game of Scrabble, resulting in a ten minute argument about whether it was a real word or not.

In a real world top tip, I've discovered after about twenty years of putting bikes in sheds, that if I put them all in rear wheel first, it is a lot easier to get them back out again because the handlebars have far less to get stuck on as they are all right next to the doorway. Who knew?
Btw, my first tip was actually real, I did it with two shoes this morning. It was just as I was typing it I thought " God, this is Viz territory!"
 
OP
grellboy

grellboy

Über Member
Bike Thieves: Do some good in the world by only stealing bikes that are insured, allowing the victim to put in a highly inflated claim for their crappy winter bike and claim it was a Pinarello! Everyone's a winner!
 
Top Bottom